When I decided to start homeschooling my oldest it wasn’t a scary decision for me. I had been homeschooled, so surely I could handle homeschooling my child. Covid hit right when he was about to start kindergarten, which I didn’t feel he was ready for yet anyway. So I ordered a big box curriculum set for pre-k so we could make sure his basics were all covered, and I started day one. At this point I should mention that yes, I was homeschooled…from the 5th grade on. All of my early childhood learning took place in regular public schools. I also had not read any early learning books, or child development books…you get the idea, I was clueless!
Homeschool Day 1: What was I thinking!
Day one did not go well. I quickly learned that holding a pencil, or using scissors are not pre programed into children. For all of my homeschool “expertise” I was at a loss on how to help him with something that seemed so simple, so easy. I had suspicions that there was more to my kids’ difficulty learning, but covid had hit and everything was shut down. So I kept using the curriculum I bought and tried to find other homeschooling options and methods. All while feeling like an utter failure as a mom. My kids were behind and it was all my fault!
After almost two years of extreme mom guilt and social isolation, I was a tired and frustrated momma. Everything that I tried wasn’t working! it was like I was teaching two walls (my oldest and youngest) and a tasmanian devil (the middle child, of course!) I took the kids to get their check ups with a new pediatrician and everything changed! He referred them for speech, occupational, and physical therapy evaluations. He also set up a meeting with a doctor at the autism clinic at the university.
Finally, some answers…and more questions.
One thing I remember the doctors and therapists telling me was it’s ok to feel upset or sad about their diagnosis…but I wasn’t. I was relieved! Finally we had some answers! Now I knew why it was so dang hard to teach my kids. Why emotions were a whole different ball game than what I was used to dealing with. Now that we knew what we were dealing with I was ready to get to work!
Nowadays I feel as though I am doing as much learning as my kids are. I’m not sure how it is with most parents of neurodivergent kiddos but for me it was: “All right here is the diagnosis. Here is a whole new vocabulary to learn. Also here is a whole bunch of therapies that may…or in some cases may not, benefit your child, have fun figuring this all out!” I was not prepared, I am still not prepared, and adding on education on top of it…i need more coffee!
Next week I will dive into what changes I have made and what I have had to learn to let go of in my homeschooling. Hope to see you then. Thanks for reading.